Couples’ Relationship Assessment:

Are You Ready for a Couple's Intensive?

Instructions:

Answer the following questions honestly with your partner. This quiz is designed to help assess your relationship’s current stage in the Developmental Model, particularly focusing on Stage 2 (Differentiation) and whether you have successfully worked through disillusionment. For each question, rate your relationship on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being Strongly Disagree and 5 being Strongly Agree. After completing the quiz, tally your score and read the results.

Questions:

  1. We can disagree on important issues but still respect each other’s viewpoints.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  2. We can both maintain our individuality while being emotionally close.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  3. I feel secure in the relationship, even when we have conflict.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  4. I can express my needs and desires without fear of criticism or rejection.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  5. We have moved past the initial "honeymoon" phase and are more realistic about each other’s flaws and imperfections.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  6. We have had disagreements that were tough, but we resolved them in a healthy way.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  7. I can acknowledge my partner’s perspective, even if I don’t agree with it.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  8. We are able to have independent interests and activities outside of our relationship without feeling disconnected.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  9. I trust my partner to be emotionally open and vulnerable with me.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

  10. We have both accepted the reality that no relationship is perfect, and we are committed to working through the challenges together.
    (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

Scoring:

  • Total your points for all 10 questions.

  • The highest possible score is 50.

Results Interpretation:

  • Strong Relationship, Likely Past Differentiation Stage

    Your relationship appears to be strong and you may have successfully navigated through the Differentiation Stage (Stage 2) of the Developmental Model. This suggests that both of you can maintain individuality within the relationship, handle conflicts in a healthy manner, and accept each other's flaws. No immediate need for a Couple’s Intensive is indicated, but continued focus on communication and emotional connection will ensure ongoing relationship growth.

  • Relationship in Transition, Needs Attention

    Your relationship is in a period of growth and change. While you’ve likely made it through some challenging moments, there may still be areas in which you are struggling, particularly in terms of balancing individuality and emotional closeness. If disillusionment hasn’t been fully processed, or if there’s difficulty handling conflict, it may be helpful to explore these issues more deeply. A Couple’s Intensive can help you identify patterns and provide tools for strengthening your relationship.

  • Potential Strain, Consider Intensive

    There are areas of strain in your relationship that could benefit from more focused work. You may be experiencing difficulties in communicating effectively, accepting each other’s differences, or resolving conflict. This could indicate that you're still struggling with disillusionment or differentiation. A Couple's Intensive may be highly beneficial in helping you work through these challenges, providing a safe space to rebuild understanding and connection.

  • Relationship at Risk, Highly Recommend a Couple's Intensive

    Your relationship seems to be in a particularly challenging phase, and there may be significant issues with differentiation, disillusionment, or overall emotional connection. This could be indicative of unresolved conflict, disconnection, or unmet needs that need immediate attention. A Couple’s Intensive is strongly recommended, as it can provide the support and tools necessary to address these deeper issues in a more intensive and focused manner.

Next Steps:

If your score is below 30, consider scheduling a Couple’s Intensive. These sessions are designed to provide concentrated support for couples looking to navigate complex relationship challenges, particularly in the areas of differentiation and disillusionment.

If your score is higher, continue nurturing your relationship through regular communication, appreciation, and seeking support when needed. Regular check-ins or counseling sessions may still be beneficial for maintaining a strong connection.

If you're interested in exploring a Couple's Intensive, please contact me to learn more about how I can help you work through the unique challenges in your relationship.